Showing posts with label HUMOR ONE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HUMOR ONE. Show all posts

Monday, September 13, 2010

Humanistic Approach To Humor!

Readers I have brought funny humor to tickle you. Humor is needed to build our personality. A person with all humor will gel with other persons very well.
The Blue Crab Bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a pin stripe suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.
Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"
“Well,” said the little man, “I set fee schedules for an HMO.” How did you feel about this ‘all humor?’


A Historic Breakthrough in Nature and Science! 

This funny humor is based on obesity. Millions of Americans are overweight. They need to develop a sense of ‘all humor.’ Obesity is one of the most dangerous—not to mention unattractive—medical crises facing our nation. I am sure that you have tried all the latest pills, diets and massage treatments. There is always the option of regular exercise and a moderate diet—but get real—who has time for that? 
Now you don’t have to restrict your favorite foods. You don’t even have to exercise. Go ahead; eat that second piece of cheesecake! With our plan, you can still attain any weight you choose!! 
Giardella  is guaranteed to help you lose 5, 10, 20 pounds—you decide! 
Best of all, it’s from nature, so you know it’s safe. Unlike artificial, sterile pharmaceutical factories, nature is in perfect balance. All living things from nature are beneficial for your health. 
Here’s how it works. We collect crystal clear water from the Gunpowder River. We wish you could see the source. Overhead, tall sycamore trees sway in the breeze. Just upstream, a family of industrious beavers has built a series of impressive dams. The industry of the beavers imparts a special essence to the waters. This enteric essence cleanses your system in a profound way that you have never experienced. 
A day or two after you drink our healing water; you will begin to notice your body cleansing itself. The weight just flows away. Once you have lost as much weight as you want, it is easy to stop. Just page your family doctor—he or she should be available day or night—and ask him to call in a prescription for Flagyl ® After one or two doses, the cleansing process slows down, and your weight will stabilize. That’s all there is to it! 
Keep a few extra vials of our crystal clear elixir on hand if those troublesome pounds start to come back. It works over and over.
His one isn't about medicine or managed care, but I couldn't resist....!! Will such humor articles click?
Read more ...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Humor-The Humor Instinct


Be always happy and laughing.Funny humor is always welcome.Humor one is the most needed instinct we need to cultivate.All we need is a humor protal.Any type of humor is welcome.If it is witty then we all will wnjoy more.Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical EngineerinDepartment,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions onfinal exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"  In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question:"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than  one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at  which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than theincrease in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;

...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.



Two men were golfing, and the fairway of the hole they were playing was adjacent to a road. The first man was setting up for his swing, when a funeral procession went by on the road. He stopped, faced the procession for a moment, then bowed his head in prayer as the hearse passed by. Only when the procession had passed out of view did he resume playing, driving his ball to the green.
As they were walking toward the green, the second man said, "That was a touching show of respect for the the deceased back there. I had no idea you were so sentimental."
The first man shrugged and said, "It's the least I could do. I was married to her for thirty years."
Read more ...