Humor-The Humor Instinct

Be always happy and laughing.Funny humor is always welcome.Humor one is the most needed instinct we need to cultivate.All we need is a humor protal.Any type of humor is welcome.If it is witty then we all will wnjoy more.Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical EngineerinDepartment,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions onfinal exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"  In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question:"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than  one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at  which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than theincrease in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;

...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.



Two men were golfing, and the fairway of the hole they were playing was adjacent to a road. The first man was setting up for his swing, when a funeral procession went by on the road. He stopped, faced the procession for a moment, then bowed his head in prayer as the hearse passed by. Only when the procession had passed out of view did he resume playing, driving his ball to the green.
As they were walking toward the green, the second man said, "That was a touching show of respect for the the deceased back there. I had no idea you were so sentimental."
The first man shrugged and said, "It's the least I could do. I was married to her for thirty years."

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Humor-Bone Tickling Yet Healthy!

Humor has always humanistic perspective.It acts as a medicine to be healthy.Any type of humor is welcome! Nowadays technology humor is the most sought after!I will try to bring them also.Humor articles are really need a brain storming and sharp observation! Let me share with you these three jokes.


1" How was your blind date? "" Terrible! He showed up in a 1935 Rolls Royce. "
" What's so terrible about that? "" He was the original owner! "



2A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts. When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her "Why don't you eat the peanuts?" "We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied.  "We just love the chocolate around them."



3A blonde was driving home after a football game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, ... "HELLLLO" "You need to roll up the windows"

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Humor- Keeps You Fit! Nothing Else!

Readers,
how about this joke?
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a

teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green,red,orange and blue.

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look



and find dad staring at him every time. ;

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked,

'What's the matter old man, never done anything

wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would
not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one,
and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock.

I was just wondering if you were my son.

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Humor - The Essence Of Life To Be Merry!

I want my readers to have a smile on their face after reading this.That's all and I got my rewards!Get tickled with funny humor. I have tried to maintain humanistic perspective. I am planning to write more humor article also. I am trying to offer humanistic approach for the humor.


David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.

David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what did the chicken do?


A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.
The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!"The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!" Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede! He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?
So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"

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