Humor mixed with irony of life....

1)Once a man went to the veterinary doctor and said,'Doctor I have come on vaction for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.'Doctor says 'I think you should go to the Doctor opposite my clinic.See that board.' 'No Doctor, I hve come to you only.' 'But gentleman I am a veterinary Doctor.I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.' 'I know doctor very well that is why I have come to you only.'I can not becouse you talk like me and think like me,which means you are a human being and not an animal.'Iknow I am human being but listen to my complaints first: I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night,I get up in the morning like a horse,Go to office like a deer,I work all the day like donkey,I run around eleven months like a bull without any holiday,I wag my tail infront of all bosses,I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.'

Doctorasks'Are you a software engineer?'The man says'Yes!"

2) One day at a school in London a teacher said to the class of five year olds,'I 'll give 20 pound to a child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived?'An Irish boy said,'St.Patrick' 'That's not correct'saya teacher.Scottish boy says 'It was St.Andrew' 'No' says teacher.Finally a gujarat boy raised his hand and said"It was Jesus Christ!' The teacher said'That's absolutely right Jayant, come up here and I'll give you 20 pounds.' As the teacher was giving money she said 'You know Jayant,since you are Gujarati,I was surprised when you said 'Jesus Christ'Jayant replied'Yes In my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna...but Business is Business!'

3) I dreamt an Interview with God.'So you would like to interview me?'God asked.'If yo have time ' I said. God smiled 'My time is eternity what questions do you hve in mind for me?'

'What surprises you the most about human kind?' God answered'That they get bored with childhood thet they rush to grow up,and then long to be children again! That they lose thier health to make money,then lose their money to restore their health!Tht by thinking anxiously about future,they forget the present, such that they live in neither present nor in future.They live as if they would never die and die as though they had never lived.' I just woke up and opened my eyes.......